M. Night Shyamalan can suck my balls
June 21, 2008
Dear M. Night Shyamalan,
If you compare yourself to Alfred Hitchcock one more time, I will fly to Philadelphia and kick you square in the ass.
SHOCKING TWIST ALERT!
By “ass,” I meant “balls.”
See, M. Night? Surprises aren’t always as awesome as you seem to think they are. For instance, you can’t craft 110 minutes of complete bullshit, tack on a 5 minute twist ending, and consider the finished product a nugget of cinematic genius.
God, you are a hack.
Every one of your films is an exercise in incompetence. And besides being professionally inept, you seem like a total douche of a person, too. You fail on every level.
But, I will give you credit for something: The Happening is easily the most [unintentionally] hilarious movie I’ve seen in years. Bravo. The only reason the audience I saw it with didn’t drop trou’ and start flinging their feces at the screen is because their ironic laughter was practically incapacitating. Shame, really.
Your career, much like Sixth Sense star Haley Joel Osment, started off with a hint of promise and has slowly devolved into a hideous monster unfit for public consumption. Please, just give up on your dreams of filmmaking. I beg of you.
